Illegal Drugs

All I can say is thank heaven for drugs!

As most of you intelligent people have deduced, I went and got myself knocked up.

The kids spending the night at Grandmas and an empty box of condoms does not a good combination make.

Well today things were quite bad and I ended up with an IV in my arm. Evidently I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was so low that I frightened the poor nurse half to death. But, all is well now. They slipped some Zofran into my IV and for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks I have been vertical for almost 2 full hours! My Dr. had given me a prescription for the stuff, but with our crappy insurance we would have to pay the whole cost, somewhere around $200 a bottle! Thats outrageous! My wonderful sister had two refills left on her prescription (she is 7 months pregnant) which only cost her $10. So... a little bit of criminal activity, some drugs, and my life is looking up.

Last Requests

As I lie here in my bed, deathly ill and unable to get up without throwing up, all I can think about is food. Here is my wish list:

Pot stickers and lettuce wraps from Asian Star
"Playboy" roll from Akasaka Sushi
Turkey sandwich from House of Bread or Club Sandwich from Groves Market-its a tie, they are both soooo good
Burrito bowl from Barbacoa-extra sour cream!
Thick cut french fries with lots of fry sauce not sure from where but, seriously I could drink that stuff!
Churros from Costco
tirramisu (no clue how to spell that one)-from Olive Garden

I think by the time I finished all that I could just die. But doesnt it all sound so YUMMY. So wipe the drool off your chin and let me know your favorite foods from your favorite places.

It's Not Easy

This is my new favorite picture.

I read an article today written by Susan Klebold, the mother of Dylan Kleabold, one of the gunmen from the Columbine shooting. She talked about that day and how she felt, the fear, the guilt, the humiliation. She said that she didnt see it coming, that there were few warnings and that despite public opinion, she was a good mother. Following this article there were many comments, most offering sympathy, but several criticizing her for not accepting blame and for not recognizing, passing over, or allowing someone else to handle the few warning signs that were present. But what I feel is that she is a mother just like the rest of us, which means she was most often too busy, a little crazy, and blinded by the love she had for her child. Mothers are expected to be perfect these days. We are supposed to know when to push, and when to step aside. We are supposed to be calm and collected despite a raging temper tantrum. We are supposed to know when something is wrong, exactally what it is and just how to fix it. But the truth is a "Mother's Intuition" only goes so far. These are little humans we are raising, not robots. They are unique and have their own unique problems and personalilies. And mothers are human too. Which means we make mistakes. Sometimes we push too hard that our children push away. Sometimes we yell and scream and pitch our own little temper tantrum. And sometimes we never knew anything was wrong, or have no idea how to fix the pain. Susan Kleblod has lived a mothers nighmare. Despite her best efforts the child she loved so desperately, committed an unspeakable act. Not only did she lose her child, but her precious little boy was responsible for taking the lives of so many other mother's children. Did Susan make mistkes? Of course. But haven't we all?
My worst fear as a mother right now is my children growing up. Cole is only 5 years old and I already feel that I dont know him as well as I used to. He is maturing and carving out his own personality, his own likes and dislikes. He is changing from the baby that I knew in and out into a boy that doesnt want his mommy to hold him anymore when he fall and skins his knee. And it terrifies me. I am not always going to be there to help him in life to make the right choices. He is going to learn thing that I have not taught him nor do I approve of. And all I can do is hope and pray that the things I have taught him will stick, that he will remember them at the crutial moment and that he will feel my love and God's love wheather or not he makes the right choice.

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

I just booked a flight to Switzerland! Chad and I will be heading off to Geneva in September. Chad has to go there for work purposes, but I get to go just to relax and play. I am pretty nervous seeing as it is a foreign country and all but I am sure I can manage it! What I am not looking forward to is the 17 hour flight it takes to get there.

So I am all ready, flight is booked, passport is in the mail, now September just needs to hurry and get here!

Summer Fun

Yesterday was so hot we just had to find a fun way to cool off. Mix one hose and a trampoline, add water, and you've got a recipie for summer fun!

Blessings

Have you ever wondered why God blesses you so much?

Sure we are always quick to complain when he sends a few rainy days our way, but do we ever say

'Hey God, can you ease up on the blessings?'

Of course not.

Life in our house has been kinda bumpy lately. You may or may not know that Chad lost his job in April.

Talk about a downpour!

But I never would have expected the amount of kindness and support that ended up flooding our lives. My family was amazing. The moment I told my dad of our unexpected unemployment, he responded with 'what do you need and how can we help.' And the blessings didnt just come from my parents, my brother and sister and even my grandma offered our family financial aid and talked to several neighbors and friends they though might help in the job search.

As it turns our we experienced just a short bump in our track as Chad has found himself a great job much closer to home and with better benefits!

And although I cried a lot and questioned a lot and did a bit of complaining too, I see now that

God is always in control.

He may give us trials from time to time but if we hold close to his Gospel we will find that he is there to bless us in abundance even the midst of those trials.

So tonight I was cuddled up on the couch with my two beautiful children and my strong, faithful, amazing husband thinking

'Thanks God for all the blessing. I am not sure what I ever did to deserve so many.'

Happy Days

We had a very busy week last week. Cole turned 5 on April 1st (April Fools!) and he had his first "friends" party. It was a blast. We made pirate eye patches and necklaces and had a treasure hunt.

Then on Sunday we had the family party.

It wasnt even three weeks ago that we got our first pet and now we have two! Cole got a little frog from his cousin Max. He named it Spotty Buzz Lightyear.

I cannot believe my baby boy is 5 already!

Chad just got his CPA license in the mail yesterday. It's official! So tomorrow night we are going out to celebrate. We are going to Log Haven up millcreek canyon and having the kids spend the night at Grandma and Grandpas.

So here is the list of naughty things Lillian did today:

got sandpaper out of the closet and sanded my walls

ruined two brand new deoderants

dumped the entire bag of chips all over the kitchen floor

got into the kitty litter and made a mess all over the basement

lost my keys (i found them in the tuperware cupboard)

Just another normal day!