Is It Too Much to Ask...

that once you finish eating, you put your dirty dishes in the sink? Not next to the sink (ahem!) but actually in it? I am not asking for anyone to even consider rinsing their dishes and put them in the dishwasher, Oh no, because that is just going way to far I know. I am not even asking that you rinse out the bits of cereal or chili leftovers that will eventually harden like cement to the sides of the bowl and take me 10 minutes to scrape off. No all I want is that the dirty dishes just find their way somehow to the sink.

But by the looks of my kitchen table (and coffe table downstairs I am sure) full of this mornings ceareal bowls, spoons caked with yesterdays yougurt, todays luch plates, and various cup filled with various liquids, I guess it is too much to ask.

I give up.

Not easy being 30

I hate being an adult. All the stress and the responsibility gets to be too much sometimes. Not sure I would really ever want to go back to being a teenager again, but I was thinking today that 3 might be a good age. I look at my daughter and she get to run around all day in various states of undress and still look cute, she gets to play and make messes and someone else cleans them up, when ever anything does not go her way she gets to scream and holler, whine and whimper to her hearts content. Today I want to scream and whine about everything that is not going my way. I don't want to clean up any of the messes I made and... I WANT A NAP! Three year old get a nap whenever they want one. Yes, today I want to be 3 years old. Maybe I will grow up tomorrow. Then again, maybe not.

No Modesty

My children have no modesty. At least not in utero anyway. With every ultrasound I've had to determine the sex, my babies have proudly displayed their gender. Never have we had any question as to what we were having. Even the doctor commented last night on our new little baby BOY's lack of modesty. Thats right! we are having another BOY. To tell you honestly, I was a bit disappointed. But the truth is I know I would be disappointed if we were having girl instead. With already having one of each, there are so many qualities about each one that I just love so much that it is a little bit sad not to get to reapeat that. But I am happy, eveything seems to be going just fine, and thats what matters right.
So in unrelated news, I was at my mothers the other day when the doorbell rang. As my mom was on the phone, I answered it. A salesman, probably in his mid 30's, introduced himself and then asked me if my mom or dad was home. WHAT?! My mom or dad? Here I am 30 years old and pregnant and he is aking for my mom or dad! Now I am not sure if I am supposed to be flattered here or offended (I am leaning towards offended). Either I look so young that I am not old enough to be the owner of the home or I look old enough but incapable of being the owner of the home. Either way I was non too happy about the conversation. Maybe I should have asked to meet his grandson and see how he felt.

Oh Yes I Did!

Help!

I just ate a whole can of Pringles all by myself! Quick, someone come up with a good rationalization as to why its ok before the calories actually count!

Illegal Drugs

All I can say is thank heaven for drugs!

As most of you intelligent people have deduced, I went and got myself knocked up.

The kids spending the night at Grandmas and an empty box of condoms does not a good combination make.

Well today things were quite bad and I ended up with an IV in my arm. Evidently I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was so low that I frightened the poor nurse half to death. But, all is well now. They slipped some Zofran into my IV and for the first time in 3 1/2 weeks I have been vertical for almost 2 full hours! My Dr. had given me a prescription for the stuff, but with our crappy insurance we would have to pay the whole cost, somewhere around $200 a bottle! Thats outrageous! My wonderful sister had two refills left on her prescription (she is 7 months pregnant) which only cost her $10. So... a little bit of criminal activity, some drugs, and my life is looking up.

Last Requests

As I lie here in my bed, deathly ill and unable to get up without throwing up, all I can think about is food. Here is my wish list:

Pot stickers and lettuce wraps from Asian Star
"Playboy" roll from Akasaka Sushi
Turkey sandwich from House of Bread or Club Sandwich from Groves Market-its a tie, they are both soooo good
Burrito bowl from Barbacoa-extra sour cream!
Thick cut french fries with lots of fry sauce not sure from where but, seriously I could drink that stuff!
Churros from Costco
tirramisu (no clue how to spell that one)-from Olive Garden

I think by the time I finished all that I could just die. But doesnt it all sound so YUMMY. So wipe the drool off your chin and let me know your favorite foods from your favorite places.

It's Not Easy

This is my new favorite picture.

I read an article today written by Susan Klebold, the mother of Dylan Kleabold, one of the gunmen from the Columbine shooting. She talked about that day and how she felt, the fear, the guilt, the humiliation. She said that she didnt see it coming, that there were few warnings and that despite public opinion, she was a good mother. Following this article there were many comments, most offering sympathy, but several criticizing her for not accepting blame and for not recognizing, passing over, or allowing someone else to handle the few warning signs that were present. But what I feel is that she is a mother just like the rest of us, which means she was most often too busy, a little crazy, and blinded by the love she had for her child. Mothers are expected to be perfect these days. We are supposed to know when to push, and when to step aside. We are supposed to be calm and collected despite a raging temper tantrum. We are supposed to know when something is wrong, exactally what it is and just how to fix it. But the truth is a "Mother's Intuition" only goes so far. These are little humans we are raising, not robots. They are unique and have their own unique problems and personalilies. And mothers are human too. Which means we make mistakes. Sometimes we push too hard that our children push away. Sometimes we yell and scream and pitch our own little temper tantrum. And sometimes we never knew anything was wrong, or have no idea how to fix the pain. Susan Kleblod has lived a mothers nighmare. Despite her best efforts the child she loved so desperately, committed an unspeakable act. Not only did she lose her child, but her precious little boy was responsible for taking the lives of so many other mother's children. Did Susan make mistkes? Of course. But haven't we all?
My worst fear as a mother right now is my children growing up. Cole is only 5 years old and I already feel that I dont know him as well as I used to. He is maturing and carving out his own personality, his own likes and dislikes. He is changing from the baby that I knew in and out into a boy that doesnt want his mommy to hold him anymore when he fall and skins his knee. And it terrifies me. I am not always going to be there to help him in life to make the right choices. He is going to learn thing that I have not taught him nor do I approve of. And all I can do is hope and pray that the things I have taught him will stick, that he will remember them at the crutial moment and that he will feel my love and God's love wheather or not he makes the right choice.